Job posting boards are discussed, we develop the list of targeted companies to pursue. We work on interview prep and on-line submissions.  And somewhere in there I point out the merits of separating from the pack. In other words, what to do that most of the other competing candidates aren’t willing to do. Like picking up the phone and making a call into HR, or staffing, or a company department or directly into the boss to either follow up on an online application, or present themselves.

Everything  we’ve done, up to this point, was pretty straightforward. Computer research, developing the resume message, building the targets.  But when we get to the point where we prepare to call into the company from our targeted list, that’s where irrational behavior interrupts the progress. It’s fear, plain and simple, deer in the headlights fear. They can’t pick up the phone and call.

What’s the big deal?  It’s just a call, right? Yes and No.

YES, it’s just a call. But it’s a call that’s critical. It’s a chance to talk to your prospective new boss and not just rely on the résumé to do your work for you. It’s your face-to-face introduction, your chance to take a step forward, put your hand out and say – “look at me.” This is your chance to get a foot in the door.

NO, it’s not just a call. The call is the most insignificant part of the equation. By calling, you’re presenting a picture of someone who’s different.  You’re projecting a profile of a person with strength, with courage, with a determination that most don’t have, the courage to look fear in the face and stand tall and firm against the looming rejection.

I had a conversation with a well-qualified person on a job search recently who admitted to how fear stopped her in her tracks during her calls. The problem with Casey was one of not knowing what to say when she was posed with a seemingly irreversable objection.  For instance, during a call into a company, Casey had made the HR admin told her, “we aren’t hiring,” Casey froze and had nothing else to say. This was not an isolated incident with Casey. And a matter of fact many face this issue.  It was what Casey feared most. Freezing up.

Now let me say, Casey ALWAYS has something to say. Her warehouse of good ideas, frank opinions, and sage advice went dark and the doors closed on her. She went empty, out of something to say except to whisper,  “Thanks,” and “Good bye,” and the call was over.

My advice:

Establish touch point questions, devices, if you will, that will allow the ice in the throat to melt and give time for the doors to your “Ideas Warehouse” to open again.  Once you’ve heard a conversation-busting NO, it’s not the time to continue selling.  Because they’ve  heard enough of your statement or presentation to give you an answer and the answer is something like NO. So, DO NOT continue selling.  It’s time to turn the tables. Pass the monkey on to them.  For instance.

When faced with HR Maggie saying, “We aren’t hiring,” consider moving onto another track.  Ask for her help.

Reply with, “I understand.” Then ask her: “Maggie, I’m stuck. I could really use your help. If it were you, how would go about getting a job with your company. I mean, what advice could you give me?” This is very effective , because it let’s you breath,  listen and will allow you to unfreeze the warehouse of ideas while they’re talking. And unless it’s a heartless person on the other end of the line, most people, when asked for help, usually will try to help. It’s true.

Now I can’t guarantee this method will always work, but it’s worth a try.  You have nothing to lose what-so-ever. My guess is you’ll be surprised.

Another touch point – Change the subject. Again use the sympathetic questioning method after she’s give you the NO and after the compulsory pause.  “Maggie,” you say in earnest,  “It sounds like you really like it there.  How long have you been there?” This just might bring Maggie out of her defensive posture.  Because people like to talk about themselves, more than anything. The questions you can ask Maggie are endless and are only hampered by her time.  Above all, be respectful of her time.

Another touch point – Ask for their honest opinion.  Ever heard the saying, opinions are like bird droppings, they’re everywhere? Yes, everyone has them.  So, in the case of Maggie saying “NO.” Again respond with, “I understand,” followed by the obligatory pause and, “Maggie, you’ve heard me. You’ve seen my résumé (that’s if she has seen the résumé), level with me.  Am I the type of person who will fit in with your company?” Unless it’s Nurse Cratchit, you’ll get some kind of reply, and enough time to open your warehouse of ideas and thaw out the throat and use your wits about you. Again the number of opinions to ask can be numerous: How do you like it there? Is the company as good as everyone says it is? When’s a good time to check back? Do think I have a chance?

Summary:  If you want to be a stand-out candidate for a job with one of your target companies, consider very seriously calling into the company.  Don’t stop with one secretary, HR, or manager, or VP. Call as many as you can find. Spread your name around. Don’t be afraid.  It’s worth it.

For more information on phone fear: http://nophonefear.wordpress
Or fear of rejection from difficult people: http://nophonefear.wordpress.com/2009/08/27/phone-fear-is-fear-of-rejection-from-difficult-people/

Fear is a constant companion to everyone. No one gets out of this life without dealing with dread, anxiety, short bouts of worry and the occasional rush of raw terror.

In context of the job search, fear is always hiding in the wings, ruffling the curtains, letting it’s presence be known to the job hunter as s/he plods along slogging through the process with either whimsical enthusiasm or a painfully organized plod. It’s either bold and brash, making life difficult or it’s mild, like a wart on the elbow.

Only 2 things really separate the bum on the bowery and the wonderfully successful renaissance type. How they use their God given 24 hours and how they deal with fear. Both are never more evident than in the job search in these difficult economic times with the unemployment rate hovering at 10%.

Fear in the job search spreads over a landscape of topics: fear of success, fear of failure, fear of being perceived as stupid, fear of a new environment, fear of being subjected to new faces and judgments, fear of whispers, fear of ridicule, and even fear of using the phone to inquire about a job. Fear or anxiety can keep us from moving ahead with our lives. Most fear is irrational if there isn’t a clear and present physical danger. Fear is an emotion that first materialized about 5 Million years ago. Centered at the base of the brain (the limbus system) is where fear and anxiety come from, still.

Fear, that prehistoric emotion was a mechanism to defend against the prehistoric creatures who wanted to have us for dinner. (The Friend or Foe Emotion) Fear changed mankind dramaticaly. And along with fear came other emotions and feelings: desire, caring, glee and so forth.

While the brain’s sectors have steadily grown in size since the last 5 million years, the limbus system has barely cracked the 3% growth mark during the same time. Some scientist think it’s because the need to process the expansion of increased feelings and emotions and life in genereal has pushed the brain’s growth to over 5%. In other words, the brain is struggling to advance with society. Whereas the small collection of masses (limbus system) is still sending ‘fear’ signals (emotions) up to a data processing center located at the front of the forehead called the prefrontal Cortex PFC. The PFC is the central processing system that’s connected to virtually every other section of the brain.

Whenever the Limbus System sends up a perception of danger to the PFC, it’s the PFC’s duty to decide if it’s friend or foe and accordingly give directions on how to handle the emotion. It decides to stuff the fear or catch fire and get the hell out of Dodge. The Limbus system has conjured up quite a few new dangers since the big lizards back in it’s heyday.

That’s probably more than you ever wanted to know about the brain and why you fear innocent little things like… I’m afraid to pick up the phone and call into a company and ask for a job because I just know they’ll say no.  ‘Rejection, Rejection, Rejection flashing neon red!  It’s a throwback to when you were standing in a cave 5 million years ago and your limbus system flashing danger emotions, because it’s aware of a T-Rex waiting outside to eat you. Yes a prehistoric emotion from a somewhat outdated system thats keeping you from experiencing a 21^st success.  Kinda stupid isn’t it? I’ve over simplified this by about a thousand percent, but it’s basically the way it is.

Fear is fear and it touches us all.  For some it’s just a matter of feeling the fear and moving past it easily. Others aren’t so lucky.  They have to conjure up courage, establish determination, face it head on and find a way to move on.

In this blog I’m going to offer a series of posts with suggestions on overcoming job-search fear.

Here’s the first suggestion: Fear Of Rejection

Don’t fear rejection so much that you can’t pick up the phone and make an appointment or ask for an interview. Never take rejection personally. Fear of rejection is irrational. Rejection cannot permanently hurt you. It’s just that limbus system banging away at the PFC, drilling the emotion of fear, fear, fear.  With no reason other than that.

Let’s look at overecoming fear of rejection as a sales job.

A job search is an act of selling. You sell yourself to people, who you probably don’t know. People accept you or they reject you. Rejection is a fact of life in the sales world.  The people who you will be calling or meeting with are certainly not to be revered. They are no better than you. Don’t make any assumptions about who they are and how they will react to your call. Don’t make their decision for them.  Let them decide what to say. It may surprise you.

But if you do get a NO from the other end of the line, learn to accept it and NOT take it personally. Just move on.

So if fear of rejection is preventing you from making calls into HR, or bosses, friends or even just networking, know that you’re getting a prehistoric fear emotion from an almond size mass of goo, telling you not to venture out of the cave for fear of being rejected.

Flash, there are no big lizards our there anymore. You will not be eaten by calling into HR. It’s irrational to think like that.

I remember when I was recruiting, a candidate that emerged with this wonderful intangible of wide eyed determination always jumped out and became a good prospect for me to present to my client.  Not always the most polished perhaps, or educated, or experienced, but a candidate that showed dogged determination was hard to dismiss.

Don’t confuse determination with perseverance. While I ALWAYS applaud perseverance, the two are different. Perseverance has persistence as a fundamental element to it’s meaning… repeating  behavior, doggedness.  The act of a candidate simply doing nothing more than continuing to call me and ask if s/he got the job got monotonous. It turned  from persistence into being pestiferous. Not always, but like Jimmy Buffet says, it’s a fine line between Saturday evening and Sunday morning, much like the fine line between persistence and being a pest.

Determination is a mindset. It’s a persona of it’s own. There is creativity in determination. There is inquisitive behavior and resilience when things go south. They gracefully help me, help them. There is focus from a determined candidate, a laser like interest impossible to ignore. Determination is not casual, it’s not taught in sales school.  Determination comes from the gut.  And it shows. It’s subtle, but it’s noticed. Determination isn’t always about winning. That’s not the issue.  It’s about being the best. Winning is a byproduct of being the best.

I’m not saying that the determined candidate always got the job with my clients.  Of course not. But the determined candidate was always in the hunt. S/he knew s/he had the goods or didn’t. But determination is a funny thing.  They aren’t put off easily.  There seemed to be a common denominator with them. They actually believed in themselves, and they knew they had the character, intent and credentials to do the job. A determined candidate, when they confided in me that perhaps they didn’t have all the job description match ups, it wasn’t a signal for them to retreat, or lessen their enthusiasm, or apologize.  Rather it was a request for me to pull  for them and me to push their case to the client because they knew in their hearts they were the best candidate for the job.

And you know, if they were close at all, I would do just that. I would always assemble a short list for my clients. In the short list ranking the client might have asked for 5 candidates.  I would slip in the determined candidate as an addition to the top five, a wild card, the # 6, if you will. Well, it always didn’t work out for the less qualified but determined candidate. And if they fell short, the candidate took it with poise. And set their jaw to take that enthusiasm to their next encounter with another recruiter or HR or company.

And, if the determined candidate has the job description match up, I’d put my money on them everytime.  And in the long run, I’d be money ahead.

I love the determined candidate and encourage anyone engaged with a struggle for a quality job to look in the mirror and see if the face looking back shows determination.

Comments?

A woman who I shall refer to as Karry, had been attending a meeting that I had been facilitating for some time. The focus of the meeting was a forum for those in a job search.  Many had been out of work for for months and were carrying that deer-in-the-headlights look.  For some their resources were running out, mortgages were on the brink. Most had been working hard to somehow get an interview, and get hired or just get recognized with their resumes and applications. Let me say, the purpose of our meeting group was to ‘graduate’ from the group. Aka… get a job.

Karry was there at the first meeting, and throughout the six months or so, was a regular. The group conversations were always focused on some segment of the job search. Conversation was always lively, supportive and harvested great information for all to take home and use.

Well, members came and went as they joined and then graduated and left.  All but Karry. From the beginning it was clear there was an attitude that was not really, terribly bad, but carried an air of defeatism, a victim profile. She oozed of sarcasm when we discussed ways to approach companies. After all she had been at it for a long time with little success.

As the meetings came and went, and members took the suggestions, tips and advice with a dose of humility, they found jobs.  All but Karry.

I had run out of suggestions for her. It seemed that any advice that I or anyone else came up with was stunted with a reply dripping with sarcastic notion of something like – “I’ve tried that it hasn’t worked.”

I knew it was the attitude, the sarcasm and in an open forum I didn’t have the measure of how it would go over if I confronted Karry with the truth. Meeting after meeting I just let it go.  Until the last meeting.

We had a rather small group, very conducive to open candid dialogue.

We got around to Karry, and again she was lamenting that nothing worked as usual. As she was talking I could see the others were feeling her pain.  We all knew she was getting to the end of her rope. I could see that everyone in the group knew her problem – attitude.  They knew she was trying her hardest, but the attitude was a horrible smear on her persona. Just then, one of the other members looked at me, and as clearly and forthright as she could be, she asked: “Got any suggestions for Karry, Chet?”

This was it. I couldn’t pass any longer. Everyone was looking at me, the silence was deafening. Karry was looking at me, mouth slightly open, not a rustle of paper, only my heartbeat could I hear and feel.

I looked at Karry. And after giving it thought I went in the back door.  “Do you have a mentor?” I asked.

Again the silence was hollow and long. Karry looked at me, in total surprise, anguish. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t look away from my question. I felt her struggling for words.

“No,” she said as she looked at her pad in front of her and made a doodle. For the first time I knew Karry better. In that instant I felt for her like I had never felt for her before.  She knew her problem.  She knew she needed an attitude overhaul. She was a caring person, a capable employee, someone who would do a good job for a company. But her attitude wasn’t resonating past sour.

I asked again. “Do you have any friends?” The second I asked the question I knew it was unnecessary. She knew where I was headed and didn’t have an answer. I felt crushed.  The lady sitting next to Karry, who had asked me if I had any suggestion for Karry. Simply, pulled a card from her wallet and pushed it over to Karry.  “Call me,” she said. We were all saved in that conference room by that simple  little gesture by someone who had never met Karry until that night.

This is a lesson. A lesson for all of us. We can’t get out of this thing called life alone. The job search is a hard process; it eats away at our fiber. Having someone we can lean on, someone to  tell us we have “bad breath” is such a necessary resource.

If you’re going it alone, don’t.  Start looking for someone you can lean on and in turn someone you can support yourself.

And finally, if you even suspect that your attitude is half full and preventing you from reaching your full potential, challenge your friends, mentors, family or soon to be friend to look you in the eyes and level with you. And if you know them well, and you can see they are just being nice, just remind them that this is important to your well being and insist that they be truthful with you.

And Karry, put a smile on that face, straighten your back and I’m guessing your  persistence will pay off.

Good hunting and keep your chin up, everyone.

Chet

I then brought up competency-based questioning and asked if anyone was familiar this. Since it’s been reported that more sophisticated companies today are using this method I thought it was a prudent topic for discussion.  No one had anything to say about it except, “what now?”  As if to say, isn’t behavioral enough of a potential trap?

I have to admit, I’m not an expert on Competency-Based Interviewing per se.  But I’ve read Robin Kessler’s book, “Competency-Based Interviews.”  And it’s a good one. But it’s not say that her explanation is that easy to follow.

At the group meeting last night, the ultimate killer question came up.  ”Can you give us an example of a competency-based question.” I couldn’t.  But I told them I would write this post and give examples today.

First it’s important to define what competency means.

Paul Green in his book Building Robust Competencies, defines an  individual competency as a “written description of measurable work habits and personal skills used to achieve a work objective.” Or put another way, Competencies are the basic functional and behavioral requirements to successfully perform on the job. And individual’s competencies are key character traits that the most successful achievers have that help them to be such high achievers.

We have all heard of core competencies, those useful bullets on a resume like loyalty, honesty, reliability, integrity,  the inner core of a persons habits. But take competencies further – functional competencies. These competencies  are the “technical” needs of a job or profession. For example, a functional competency for a IT Administrator might be knowledge of database design and networking solutions, while a functional competency for a HR Manager might be knowledge of Federal and Local hiring regulations.

Individual competencies are the skills, traits, and characteristics that hiring managers identify in the best performers.

So, in giving examples of competency-based questions, in very elementary fashion, I’ll say it’s the  skills, traits and characteristics of a person blended into the fold of a behavioral business situation.

Here goes 3 examples:

1. Explain to us a situation where you had multiple challenging projects with different time priorities to manage. How did you handle it?
2. Tell us about a time when you were instructed to do something you considered unethical. What was the situation and how did you handle it?
3. Describe to us how you helped overcome a department HR problem and what were the end results.

See, how the focus of these questions centers on a specific challenge and questions how you used your problem solving, analytical thinking, or principled values to take action and move the challenge to a successful conclusion?

Suggestion… study up on competencies and the competency-based interviewing groundswell. I’ts not hard if you’re ready for these types of questions.

Comments?

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Interviewing is communication, pure and simple.  Good interviewers are those who come before the candidate as  themselves, determined to exchange meaningful ideas through questioning and answering.  The best candidates are those who simply come as themselves, armed with honesty and integrity. Anything less than straight-forward is Hollywood, TV, playtime. It’s a game that each side can play where one side will win and the other will lose. Unfortunately the one that wins under less than forthright communication will most likely lose in the long run. Here’s why.

Winning a job by lying, cheating, or pretending cannot last or be fruitful for very long. A slick candidate who becomes something s/he isn’t and uses contrived skills to land the job, will eventually be discovered and either be dismissed because of an inability to perform to the standards required in the job description; or worse yet, pass time at a job s/he doesn’t fit into and is then ensconced in a dead-end job for him/her for who knows how long.

There, that said, let’s keep in mind that being yourself is the very most important concept you should remember to win the job. “BE YOURSELF” is the single most feature to practice.

Here’s the rub. As you approach your interview, the notion of “BEING YOURSELF” takes courage. To stand by your principles. But ironically, if you have courage, you are a principled person and the following suggestions will be easier than not. When a principled candidate, lathered in honesty, and bequeathed with passion for doing a good job steps into the crucible of the interview s/he will be less likely hindered by bone-chilling anxiety or panic-stricken fear of what might be thrown at them. Principled people are likely to be self-confident and poised. The next most important 2 concepts of winning a job.

SELF-CONFIDENCE – comes from being prepared. If the job you are seeking and being interviewed for is high on your list, for gawd sakes know the company and know who is interviewing you. Research, research, research.  (Ticker Symbol, Annual Revenues, Product Mix, Target Market) When faced with those seemingly difficult questions that there is no right answer for hits you between the eyes, you will be much more capable of crafting an answer that makes sense if you are prepared with knowledge. Being prepared breeds SELF-CONFIDENCE. Self confidence breeds poise.

POISE – is how easily someone performs under fire. Poise is being gracious. Often referred to as “GRACE UNDER PRESSURE,”  poise is viewing situations positively. Poise is knowing how to present yourself: eloquent speech patterns, body in control,  inspiring those around you. Poise is leadership. Poise attracts admiration. Poise overcomes words. Did you know that of all the communication performed during an interview by a candidate, the most important is how they say things, NOT what they necessarily say. The tone, the inflections, the self-confidence and yes it’s the poise of the delivery.

So after speaking of the embedded skills in “Being Yourself”: self-confidence and poise, the bedrock characteristics that can’t be contrived nor relinquished, the list of do’s and don’t are secondary.  Important yes, such as: building rapport, listening, observing, what to bring, appropriate dress code, arriving 10 minutes early, speaking 50% of the time, having a list of prepared questions and being ready for the standard questions.

In closing, let me say, interviewing is the place to shine, at the desk of your prospective employer. Practice what counts. Sage advice exists from thousands of blogs, books, friends and consultants. Trying to prepare for an interview by looking and listening through all the tips and suggestions coming at you can be trying and elevate your stress level.  And avoiding stress before the interview is essential.

Rather than getting tied into a knot with self-inspection overload and interview question memorization, I would spend the time researching the company, the person interviewing you as much as possible, drafting the appropriate questions based on your research. I would prepare for the given questions, sure to surface:

Tell me about yourself?

Why do you want this job?

Why are you right for this job?

And then with the time left I would have a chat with myself.  Something like this:

“I deserve to be in this interview. I’ve earned the right to be there. I am good at what I do. I may not have all the schooling or credentials they are looking for, but what I’ve learned in my years of experience, they can’t teach in school.”

(The little blurb about not having all the schooling and credentials is simply because seldom does a candidates sit in front of the hiring manager and possess ALL the stuff they are looking for.)

In other words, convince yourself you are the absolute best choice for the job first.  If you do that effectively, you will most likely convince them of the same.

Good hunting.

Fear of being rejected seems to be a huge reason we hate picking up the phone. Rejection comes in all sizes and configurations.

Fear of rejection is normally subtle. It’s one of those fears that will linger in the back of your mind quietly limiting your activities, who you talk to and even what you will plan for your life. Even with a positive mental attitude all of your hopes for the future can hit a wall if your fears about meeting people and expressing your opinions stop you from speaking up. And that´s why rejection anxiety can be subtle. Instead of admitting it you can rationalize away perfectly good plans with excuses that stop you from moving ahead.
Where does that leave you? It leaves you with one foot nailed to the floor and the phone nailed to the desk. There’s no hope of taking charge of that phone until you admit that fear of rejection and figure out a plan to kick the fear.

Do you think your phone fear is about rejection? How do you overcome your fear of rejection?

Being stopped or stuck is more than merely an interpretation. When we’re stuck, and can’t pick up the phone, we have a larger problem. However, when we’re “stopped” from picking up the phone it’s not so big an issue because it’s likely temporary. Until we make the distinction between stuck and stopped we might have problems with progress in overcoming fear of the phone. Here’s the thought process.

Stuck is having nowhere to go, being a victim of inequity, no more fuel in the tank, dead in the water. Being stuck means crashed and burning. It means the phone and all it’s minions of demons and fiends have won over us, prevented us from reaching out to achieve our goals. We might rationalize it’s our life situation, or some bad luck, or something bequeathed upon us that we have no control over.

“Stopped” on the other hand, means just that – progress interrupted. A temporary stumble, a halt, a hitch in our path.

Stuck – requires fundamental self-examination of why we have trouble moving on. A solution somewhere hidden in realizing that there are 2 voices within us. One a deep voice opposing the benefits of moving forward on anything, not just phone fear. The other voice is our conscious us, wanting to move forward. The conflict is like being squeezed between a rock and a hard place. The solution might just be realizing that it just seems that way. When we bring your conscious awareness into the conflict situation, when we become aware of your our opposing sides, we lead ourselves to opening up to a solution.

Stopped – can be likened to procrastination, putting off or delaying or deferring an action to a later time. Yes procrastination is caused by fear, but perhaps a lower grade fear than that of being stuck. But procrastination also has verifiable ways to overcome the stall. More than likely a solution might be found in the known procrastination solutions.

Once we realize the difference between the two terms, we can begin to put some sensibility into how to proceed.

Comments?

I wish I could take credit for that quote. It’s the opening line under a short heading “Courage” in the chapter “Living A Life You Love,” from the book – “Pathfinder” by Nicholas Lore. “Pathfinder” is a wonderful read focused on finding a successful career. The passage continues:

“When you are struggling through one of the difficult parts of turning your dreams into reality, you may wonder why you always get stuck with having to put up with so much fear and uncertainty. Why, you wonder, couldn’t I feel more courageous, like those other people do.

You don’t feel courageous because courage is not an emotion. There is no such thing as feeling “courageous.” It is an imaginary emotion.

Courage consists of doing what you said you would do even when you don’t want to.

In the face of danger you have a choice to be the delegate of either your commitments or your feelings. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.”

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.

-Ambrose Red Moon

This short concept rests on page 61 of “Pathfinder,” by Nicholas Lore. Just 1 page, 1 out of 374 pages, pretty much embodies the spirit of so many people who have overcome the stumbling blocks of phone fear, and found their stride in effectively achieving worthwhile goals.